Potty Training: My Child is Afraid to Go #2

Potty Training: My Child is Afraid to Go #2

Posted by Unknown on 4:35 PM in potty training,

Most of us moms would agree that potty training is a tedious process that requires a great amount of patience, encouragement, and cleverness. Right? Then, when you're finally able to say, "Goodbye diapers!", or sing, "Ce-le-brate Good Times! Come on!", a curve ball knocks you off your feet, and you think, "What now?".

So, what is this possible curve ball that I'm talking about? Well, I'm talking about a stomach flu, or even the nasty Rotavirus... which can cause a child to have painful and traumatizing bowel movements resulting in potty training regression.

Unfortunately, I had to deal with this very painful experience while potty training my youngest. He was at the point where we were considering him "potty trained" when he got a stubborn stomach flu. After a devastating week of high fever and diarrhea, my son was afraid to go potty. Even though he didn't have the stomach flu anymore, he was afraid to go number 2, thinking that the same painful cramp feeling would happen again. Fortunately, after a few weeks of reassurance, demonstration, and patience, my son lost his fear of going number 2 in the toilet and went back to his normal routine. Praise the Lord!

I'd like to point out that while my son was afraid to poop in the potty, we considered putting the diaper back on him, but decided not to. This is a very difficult decision for many parents, and I'm not in a position to tell any parent(s) which is the right choice for them or their child. Sure, no diapers meant that we had to clean up a few accidents. When they happened, we had to put on our "poker faces" again, and we never judged, criticized, nor did we force our son to go potty in the toilet. It was our choice not to use diapers because we didn't want to confuse him, and we didn't want our son to think that he was wearing diapers again because he did something "wrong". However, you know your child and his/her needs better than anybody else. So, if you feel that the best solution is to put the diaper or pull-up back on your child until he/she feels comfortable to go potty in the toilet again, then please do so.

After receiving a couple of emails from moms who went through similar experiences, I decided to share some of my strategies and suggestions with you. However, keep in mind that every child is different and that these are only some suggestions that worked for my son. If you believe your child's case is severe, I strongly recommend you to talk with your child's pediatrician.

After my youngest son had the stomach flu (plus a horrible case of diarrhea that lasted for a couple of days), he would cry and panic when he had to go potty. This fear is normal. Children will avoid using the toilet because they are associating it with the traumatic experience. One thing you can do to help your child is to speak very calmly and explain that it is safe to go potty in the toilet. You have to pretty much start from the beginning, thinking of "baby steps" again... For example, ask your toddler to sit on the potty for just a minute or less to show him/her that nothing is going to happen (no mess, no awful tummy feeling, etc.), but don't force or command your child! In addition, praise your child for any accomplishment and progress he/she makes.

Amusement, silliness, and creativity are also a big plus to help minimize your child's fear of going number 2. For example, my husband and I explained to our son that the diarrhea was something that happened because his tummy was trying to "fight the bad guys" and send them away from his body. When he was returning to normal health, we made sure to tell him, "Now that you are healthy again, your tummy is doing great! See how your poo-poo is solid? So now, we need to flush it far away!" Create a fun story if you'd like! You might also point out to your toddler that by washing hands before eating or after going potty, he/she can stop the bad germs from getting into his/her tummy.

We also used "to the point" language when talking to our son about going number 2 in the potty. We would say, "It's ok. Your poo-poo will look like a ball, and it will plop right into the toilet. Then mama (mommy or mom) is going to help wipe your bottom, and we're going to flush the poo-poo away." Talk to your child during the process, and show him/her the poo-poo in the toilet after he/she is finished. Tell your toddler, "See, it's just like a ball!"

If you are concerned that your child will still have loose stools after the sickness, then I suggest some starchy foods like bread, crackers, bananas, rice, pasta, and mashed potatoes which can help create a more solid stool. Avoid fried foods and foods high in fat for a while, and avoid fruit juices and sodas that are either too concentrated or contain high amounts of sugar. Yogurt is a good source of probiotics to replace unhealthy bacteria in the intestine with healthy ones (if your toddler is not lactose intolerant).

I really hope these tips help you and your child return to the normal potty training routine! Once again, please understand that these are only tips. If you have concerns about your child's health, well being, and nutrition, always talk with your child's pediatrician.
Wish you and your family all the best! :D

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbird/19650368/">thejbird</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

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Potty Training... Been There, Done That...

Potty Training... Been There, Done That...

Posted by Unknown on 2:59 AM in potty training,

Alright, potty training my oldest son was one of the hardest moments of my motherhood so far (I know, just wait until he's a teenager, right?). I'd say it ranks right up there with sleep deprivation and breast feeding. I never imagined how a two-year-old, cute little boy could be so stubborn! And when it came to potty training, my husband and I tried almost everything! So, what did we learn from our first-time parents experience with potty training our toddler? Well, many things... And I would like to share them with you, so maybe, just maybe, you can have a much nicer experience potty training your little one. So, here goes:

1. Rewards: Aaaahhh, the rewards... Have to be smart with this one... Stickers of favorite cartoon characters, points and stars on a chart, Thomas the Tank Engine trains (wooden ones, plastic ones, metal ones....), candies... Well, at this rate, we were probably going to go bankrupt before our son would successfully potty train! We didn't apply the rewards concept correctly, so it didn't quite work for us. The problem was that we were rewarding him to just sit on the potty. Now, they may be only two, but they can be so smart! So they figure out pretty quickly how to get what they want! When my son started to tell us that he needed to go potty, he would sit on the toilet for a long, long, time, and then he would say that he "didn't feel it" anymore... As desperate parents who wanted so much for their son to go potty, we thought that the fact that he was asking to go potty was a big step in the right direction... But he kept getting his rewards and still no results. So, if you want to give your child some kind of reward (which is great and can work), wait until he/she actually goes pee-pee or poo-poo in the toilet, then you give the reward.

2. Pull-Ups: One word: Nooooo! Ok, a little more than one word, for us it turned out to be a terrible idea! While it might work for some moms, some toddlers like my son didn't mind all that much about the "cool feeling" from the pull-ups. It actually confused him even more. We think he started to enjoy the feeling since it was summertime.

3. Signs: When my son was about two, we noticed how he would go to the playroom area and get really quiet. About 10 minutes later, he would return to the living room to play with his toys. I would approach him and smell the stinkiness. I started observing him and noticed that it became his routine when he needed to go poo-poo. It also helped that he was going in his diaper at approximately the same time everyday. So, we tried to direct him to the potty instead. But, this backfired on us because he learned how to hold it longer, not wanting to actually go in the potty, even though he really needed to!

4. Underwear: Close to turning three years old, we decided to take more drastic measures. We took our son to the store and told him that he was going to wear "big boy underpants". We let him choose his own favorite underwear themes/characters. We told him that starting the next day, he was only going to wear underpants. (Note: We did this experiment during a week long Spring Break). He was excited about it, and believing he was the one "in control" of the potty situation (which was a big plus!). For the first three days, we did a lot of cleaning... We never judged him, or made a big deal about it. Using our best "poker face" we would just say, "It's ok, it's just a little accident. Maybe next time you feel it, you can go to the potty." Sometimes we would point out that our cats would go to the litter box when they felt it, and that our dog would go outside when she needed to go, and that we went to the potty when we felt it. He didn't like the yucky feeling of having pee-pee running down his legs, or poo-poo in his underwear. So, after about the third day, we noticed how he would tell us he needed to go and would run to the potty. After about the fifth day, no more accidents! No more diapers! We did have a few bedwetting accidents, but they stopped after a few weeks. In our case, creating a nighttime routine helped prevent bedwetting accidents (brush teeth, go potty, read books, and sleep). We kept the same routine every night. 

5. Second son: We learned not to pressure our youngest son. It just doesn't work. We waited until he was about two years old to begin mentioning going potty in the toilet. At that time, I had already written and illustrated the first edition of my "Silly Potty Story" book, so I was reading it to him, and he loved taking control of the silly questions by answering, "Noo mama, we don't go in the tub, we go in the potty!" Also, our son sometimes observed his dad or older brother using the toilet. Having a mom, dad, or an older sibling show where we go potty, in our opinion, was helpful. However, if you don't feel comfortable using the toilet in front of your child, then, please disregard this strategy.

Enjoy my book and whatever potty training method you choose, remember to be patient, take a deep breath and give yourself a break when frustrated, and by being positive when your child shows signs of readiness, your child will soon be successful! :)

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbird/19650368/">thejbird</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

 

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